Juan - Lilly Friend Project

Preliminary Questions

1. Where do you live?

New Jersey

2. Are you crazy?

Yes No

3. Do you want more friends?

internet friends in-person friends both

Open Questions

1. Why are you filling out this questionnaire?

I was sitting at a coffee shop by st. Marks with my girlfriend. And I saw an ad on the bulletin wall saying PLZ LISTEN TO MY PODCAST. I scan the QR code and find out what the lily friend project is and found it super interesting. But I’m basically filling it out because I’ve always wanted to conduct interviews myself with the most interesting people I can talk to and I guess this is a start in my journey lol

2. How many "close friends" (by close friends I mean people that you see more than twice a month if they live in the tri-state area or if they are a long-distance friend that you speak with at least twice a month) do you have?

I’d say I have 2 really close friends. I’ve known them since like middle school. And long distance friends I have around 4 to 6

3. It's Saturday morning! What time are you up and what do you want to do with the day?

Usually I’m up by 6 am and I walk my dog. I’m a server at a restaurant so I usually work weekend mornings and I get to work at around 8 am. BUT if I’m not working I’ll still wake up early probably around 6 am walk my dog and then work out and check out coffee shops, farmers markets, and maybe a hike later in the day.

4. Do you like to go to any kind of cultural experiences? What kind and how often?

Both my parents are Colombian. So growing up Colombian culture was huge. I love going to my Grandmas house and eating her food at least once a week. It makes me feel in touch with my roots. I am also a Catholic. I grew up not super religious but around last year I had a great encounter with a group of people who are devout Christians. Then slowly I made my transition to the Catholic Church. My faith is probably the most important part of my life and I love attending mass every week if not twice a week.

5. How do you feel about Amy Winehouse?

I don’t know much about her other than a few songs and she died very young.

6. "Uh oh! I'm experiencing a negative emotion"; what happens inside you? How do you deal with it?

I pray on it. Try to understand what’s going on. Then try my best to resolve it or do something that will be productive towards it. But sometimes doing something nice for someone else makes me feel better or going on a walk when it’s nice out helps me chill out

7. How do you feel about school and teachers?

Schools been up and down for me especially college or university. To keep it short it’s been a constant fail and get up again sequence. But I find true value in education and having good teachers is very important.

8. What is the most meaningful way to spend time?

Not wasting it. I’m finding out that for me when I can be productive or even help someone with anything is a better use of time then just doom scrolling or self pitying.

9. What is your favorite law (if you do not have a favorite, what is one that you think of positively)?

I don’t have a favorite but I think positively on birthright citizenship (if that even is a law). I come from two immigrant parents, most of my friends come from a similar situation or are even immigrants. I’d love to see a direct path to citizenship for the Hispanic and Latino community in my lifetime.

10. What app on your phone (other than essentials) is your most used app?

Probably my Hallow prayer app Facebook and specifically Facebook marketplace

11. What are you hoping to get from filling this out?

I’m not really sure I love meeting anybody and hearing their story as well. I hope that I can change someone’s day in a positive way.

Multiple-Choice Questions

1. If you had to choose one word to describe yourself, which one would you choose:

Scary Sporty Baby Ginger Posh

2. The worst month is:

January March July November I don't think about this way

3. Do you live to eat or eat to live?

Eat to live Live to eat I'm really not sure It's complicated.... 🙁 I'm uncomfortable by this question and prefer not to answer

4. How do you feel about August: Osage County:

Love that movie! Hate that play! I thought it was a moving and interesting depiction of the American family Merryl Streep was great(doi!) and I am indifferent/feel somewhat positive about it Don't know what that is

5. How often do you speak about your love life with your friends?

A lot Not that often Once every other time I feel it out and need to make sure I don't talk about it too much Everytime I see my best friends

6. Your biggest fear about getting older is:

Becoming irrelevant Running out of time My body falling apart Becoming boring I'm not afraid of getting older

7. Dogs wearing clothes are:

Adorable and necessary for their comfort Humiliating for the dog Fine for practical reasons only (rain, cold) A symptom of social rot Depends entirely on the dog's attitude about it

8. People who don't tip well:

Probably just don't understand how service industry works Are fundamentally bad people Might be going through something financially Should be banned from restaurants I don't judge people's tipping habits

9. Distance in relationships:

Is always a sign something is wrong Can actually strengthen the bond between people Should be avoided at all costs Is necessary for maintaining mystery Means someone isn't trying hard enough

10. The best way to end a text conversation is:

Just stop responding when it feels natural Say 'okay talk soon!' or similar Send a thumbs up emoji You don't end them, they just fade There is no good way

11. The phrase "it is what it is" is:

Zen wisdom Giving up disguised as acceptance Sometimes true, sometimes lazy The most annoying phrase in English Perfect for ending awkward conversations

12. When someone consistently disappoints you, you:

Keep giving them chances because that's what loyalty means Gradually distance yourself while remaining cordial Have a direct conversation about expectations Cut them off immediately - life's too short Use it as an opportunity to examine your own expectations

13. How do you feel about answering all these questions:

Annoyed - this was way too long Intrigued - I enjoyed thinking about these things Resentful - some of these felt invasive Excited to discuss my answers with someone Neutral - just another survey

14. If we met in person, what would you want to talk about first:

Something completely unrelated to this questionnaire Why you asked such weird questions The answers we disagreed on most Whatever comes up naturally in conversation I'd rather just see what happens

Essay Question

Please describe a friend breakup you have gone through. If you haven't gone through a friend breakup, please explain why you think you have never gone through a friend breakup. Outline a major friendship in your life and explain why it is successful.

I had a friend and for this case to not use her real name we’ll call her Kate. Kate and I became friends our freshman year of high school, she was new to the school and I saw that she was more of a reserved person and I asked her if she wanted to eat lunch together. We instantly became friends. We’d eat lunch together most days and hang out most days after school. We came from different backgrounds as she came from an upper class white family and I come from a lower middle class Hispanic family. But I think because of that our friendship was so strong. We grew through our freshman year and sophomore year to be great friends but the summer going into junior year we slowly started to fade away with no explanation. We started hanging out with different people and made no time for each other. Then slowly we stopped being friends.

After that during our senior year we had a class together. But for most of that time we just kept it very simple and plain with an occasional hi or a super surface level conversation. But then one day after I was walking to the senior parking lot and I felt a tap on my shoulder. My body knew instantly who it was and I hear Kate’s voice say hey stranger. I’m almost in shock and we have a conversation until we got to our cars and it was as if nothing had happened as if we were completely normal. It felt like no time had passed and that we were just our 15 year old selves talking about nonsenses.

We graduated shortly after and I felt bold one day and I reached out. I basically told her I loved her and that I miss her and our friendship. She didn’t reply for like a week and when she did she basically just told me how she loves all of her friends from high school and that she’ll be moving to California to live with her dad and told me that I should stop reaching out.

It sucked. I really cared about her and I feel like I never got true closure from that. I think about her quite often but I wouldn’t dare to reach out. I do admit I could have done more to save our friendship but id rather not dwell on it that much. I just hope she’s doing well wherever life took her.